Defense Mode: Why They Seem So Stuck & Shutdown All The Time

When you're in Defense Mode, everything is harder because you're constantly trying to protect yourself from the overwhelming stress of both real and imagined threats that constantly surround you.

How I Finally Found Relief From My Cataclysmic Panic Attacks

This is the story of how I had cataclysmic level panic attacks and my realization of how to stop them. When I say cataclysmic level, I mean I was curled up in a fetal ball on the floor screaming "I don't want to die" while meanwhile it was a bright, sunny day with zero threat.

He Only Cares About Being On His Computer And Almost Never Leaves His Room. Help!

We have been trying for months to talk to my son with Asperger’s (age 17). He has NO interest in learning basic social skills, getting a job, doing his homework, practicing basic hygiene, eating healthier… the list goes on.

I Was A Picky Eater Until Age 25. Here's What Changed.

I was one of the pickiest eaters you can imagine. Everything had to be a certain way. EVERYTHING. I had to have a specific brand of bread. I had to have a certain type of jelly. And if you used the same knife to cut my sandwich that touched anything green, it was game over.

My Parents Tried Everything: I Was A Nightmare Child

"You're still having meltdowns every day. Your siblings are terrified. You're failing most of your classes at school. I'm sorry. At this point we're out of options. So here's the deal. You can't live here anymore."

My Picky Eater

He wasn’t willing to try pizza or pasta until he was 9, and has never tried red meat, fish, or most vegetables. He would have a meltdown if we cooked anything involving fish or olives because he claimed they “smelled up the house and caused him pain”.

Spoon Theory & Capacity Issues

“Spoons” is a metaphor, a code word, to describe and measure how much physical and emotional capacity each of us has to get through the day.

The Biological Basis For Defense Mode (Understanding The Vagus Nerve)

If you have low vagal tone chances are excellent that you get stressed out more easily. You probably tend to feel more anxiety, and in general, it’s just harder for you to regulate and deal with negative emotions.

What It Feels Like To Be In Defense Mode

In Defense Mode, I often felt the need to control and keep everything exactly as it was because I was so overwhelmed that anything new just added to the overwhelm and shut me down even further.